You Have Failed Me for the Last Time
★★☆☆☆ Patchy
theSpace on the Mile (Venue 39): Sat 2 – Fri 22 Aug 2025
Review by Hugh Simpson
The Optimiserables and New Celts’ You Have Failed Me For The Last Time is only patchily entertaining. At theSpace on the Mile on even dates throughout the Fringe, it is neither a full-blown parody nor a fully coherent piece of drama.
Lucas McQueen’s play features supervillain Friedrich Von Fittervach, whose base in a volcano is infiltrated by an agent called (wait for it) J. Blonde. Blonde is both helped and hindered by Fittervach’s henchmen and employees.
Lucas McQueen and Fraser Henderson in You Have Failed Me For The Last Time. Pic: Optimiserables.
There should be plenty of fun to be had in a secret agent spoof. Indeed, plenty of fun has been had in the past. However, this example is too long by at least a third. The swipes at movies are hardly original, and some of the jokes – not least riffs on Bond titles – fall flat.
There are also some odd swipes at corporate structure that are less than carefully integrated, as well as a couple of scenes that appear to be from another play entirely. Oddly, it is McQueen as Fittervach who seems least invested in his own material, throwing away some of the cheesiest lines when they need to be sold to the maximum, and saddling himself with an inconsistent accent (the fact that other characters comment on it does not constitute an excuse).
There is a peculiar charm to McQueen’s characterisation, however, and the rest of the cast charge at it with a will. Fraser Henderson’s Agent Blonde is extremely fine; grounded, unfeasibly posh and with considerable presence.
Finlay Donald and Jamie McNeill and Brook Smith in You Have Failed Me For The Last Time. Pic: Optimiserables.
Michael J. Garden goes right over the top as long-suffering henchman Ivor, with pleasing results; his rendition of a version of Alone Again Naturally is oddly touching.
Brook Smith, Finlay Donald and Jamie McNeill are very good as the three downtrodden employees. Indeed, they are so effective at differentiating the characters that it simply reinforces the fact that, in dramatic terms, there is no reason for there to be three separate characters at all.
Ian Dunn’s direction is consistently inventive, and Natanya Ellen’s tech operation faultless, but they cannot stop the play from being too long.
As a late-night entertainment, with a more refreshed audience, bags more oomph in the jokes and shorn of twenty-five minutes, this would work. At lunchtime it doesn’t really convince.
Running time: One hour and 15 minutes (no interval).
theSpace on the Mile (Space 3), 80 High St, EH1 1TH. (Venue 39).
Saturday 2 – Friday 22 August 2025).
Even dates only: 12.15pm.
Tickets and details: Book here on EdFringe.com.
Optimiserables website: www.optimiserables.co.uk/
Facebook: @The-Optimiserables
Instagram: @optimiserables
Michael J. Garden and Lucas McQueen in You Have Failed Me For The Last Time. Pic: Optimiserables
ENDS
